A moment to do over? I’m a big believer in everything happens for a reason- big or small. Wishing for do-overs is the equivalent of regret and can lead to guilt and other negative mentalities, all of which I avoid on a personal level and make it my mission to avoid in others as well.
Of course, there is the occasional:
I wish I had said that differently so that person’s feelings didn’t get hurt.
I wish I had taken the time to do ___ because it would have been a lot easier for me than that person.
But in the same breath, shouldn’t we learn from every situation? The only moments I can think of that anyone should regret are the ones that didn’t result in growth and those are really very few and far between.
When I saw that person’s face fall because I said something and didn’t realize it was insensitive, did I become more aware of that person’s sensitivities? Did I learn something about them? Was I reminded to be more compassionate? Absolutely, yes. So, in hindsight, while I might feel bad about hurting someone’s feelings, I have grown.
And, many may scoff at this, but I have given an opportunity for the offended person to grow as well. I’ll turn that around and say that personally, when I am offended or hurt by something someone says to me, I am given the opportunity to practice giving the benefit of the doubt to that person. I can practice being secure by reassuring myself that not everything is about me. Even things that are said about me to me. It’s really hard to do, but if I try, I can learn something. And so, even from that side, it’s not a do-over.
So I did mention reasons for wanting do-overs can be big or small. And my example is certainly on the small side. The big lessons we learn in life are so extraordinary in their opportunity for growth that they should never be passed up. I don’t mean to say that we should crave failure- we should crave the opportunity to do better next time. Second/third/fourth chances are our opportunities to show why our mistakes weren’t made in vain.
And for the times that are few and far between, and I acknowledge they exist, where hindsight bites you in the ass and you know you won’t ever get another chance… be kind to yourself. Practice forgiveness for yourself. There is always something to be learned.