#reverb13 // Fail: It happens to the best of us

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What just didn’t work out this year? Is that okay with you? Or are you going to try, try again?

For me, things Just Work Out.  They just do!

OK, before you get envious and want to punch me in the face, let me clarify.

I don’t get every thing that I want.  There are things that disappoint me.  I have let myself down and have been let down by others.  This is all very normal, and a necessary part of being a functioning person who is grateful for the rest.

I was having trouble answering this question in its most literal way, and even had to ask G, what didn’t work out for me this year?

Your parents she said.

Oh, right…

That definitely didn’t work out this year.  And before I get into it, I’ll answer the second part and say that unfortunately I will not be try, trying again.

Been There Done That TShirt

So why did I need to be reminded?  I operate in a universe where all of the things that happen to me and all the choices I make culminate into this little happy place I find myself in right now.  And I choose to be happy.  It seems too simple to be true.  But I can’t really explain it any other way.

I am so disappointed in my parents as people.  To know that they have a prejudice against homosexuals makes me dislike them.  They don’t get a pass because we share blood.  Who are they to judge others?  Why don’t they believe that all people deserve happiness and the same rights?  And then if you layer on the complication that their own daughter is in a same-sex relationship and they wouldn’t consider fighting for my rights as their child, it is baffling.

They have failed me.  And sometimes, I feel like I’ve failed by not being able to change their minds.  Sometimes, I feel like I’ve failed because I must have done something horribly wrong for not being a daughter who deserves unconditional love from them.  But that kind of thinking is just destructive.  And it’s my choice whether I think that way or not.  I choose to be happy, grateful for the love and support of my brother, sister-in-law, G’s family and our friends, and to live unapologetically for myself.  No exceptions.

I can be disappointed in my parents and know that it technically didn’t work out with them, but still feel like it worked out for the best.

I think I just found out why everything Just Works Out for me.  Perspective.


4 thoughts on “#reverb13 // Fail: It happens to the best of us

    Sarah said:
    December 11, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    Kim, you are an inspiration and one of the bravest people I know. I admire your spirit, your drive, and how you live your life on your own terms. I struggle with getting approval and gold stars, which leaves me disappointed and questioning myself. When I find myself doing that, I often think “what would Kim do?” She’d live her own life is what!

    Barbara said:
    December 11, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    Perspective and choice. I second Sarah’s comment — you are an inspiration!!

    Pi said:
    October 27, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    Hi, there. I found this post through a long trail of Google searches about parents and accepting LGBTQ kids. Thanks for your post. How brave. Beautifully stated.

    […] have found for myself that the biggest barrier to gratitude is perspective. And after what I’ve been through with my family, perspective is something that I’ve had to […]

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