#reverb13 // Uphill Battles

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I’m a cyclist.  In the studio and on the road.  And in either place, I love my hills.  There is no sense of gratification like being at the top, looking back and saying I did that.

I am an achiever at heart, it plays heavily into my self worth and self esteem.  My parents were very hard on me growing up and now I’ve taken over the role and am hard on myself.

Some battles are worth fighting and some are not.  I’ve written a lot about the battles that I’ve quit fighting this year and what I’ve learned in 2013 is that there is no shame in that.  Some things are quite outside of our control and sometimes the battle wounds are not worth the outcome.  The hard part is looking up the hill you are unwilling to climb and being okay with hanging out at the bottom.

Everything is worth a shot.  If you don’t try to climb you won’t ever understand the depth of your desire to get to the top, nor how steep the hill is.  It can seem a lot worse than it actually ends up being, or you can realize that your desire was quite shallow.  So the trying is where you do your learning.  The trying is the important part.  When you lean into your struggles you ultimately grow.

I’ve learned that the trying is so important that it makes the outcome of achieving or failing almost irrelevant.  If you achieve, good for you! On to the next hill.  If you fail, you can decide whether there is still more learning to do and if there is… try, try again.  If you’ve learned all you can from a situation and are still not there, you can say with confidence that it’s just not for you and find something else to pour your precious energy and time into.  To me, that looks like a win/win/win situation.

I’ve never had to get off my bike and walk the rest of the way up a hill.  But I sure as hell would to get over the top to find the rest of my ride, and my team, waiting for me.

Iowa Hill


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