#reverb14 // Gorgeous

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Day 2 – Gorgeous – When did you feel beautiful this year and why?

Obvi.  My wedding day.

But here’s the thing about Gorgeousness.  It actually has absolutely nothing to do with the way you look and everything to do with the way you feel.  You could be having the best hair day ever with skin like a porcelain doll, but if you feel like ass there is no beautiful to be had.

I would like to mention that in my previous relationship, I was put down a lot about how I look without my hair and makeup done.  I got comments like You’re going out like that?  And I mean, I was showered and dressed reasonably… not in sweats with 3rd day hair.  So, I was frequently made to feel like if I didn’t put in some herculean effort, I was not pretty or worthy of being seen.  It made me self conscious about going to the gym without at least a little blush on my cheeks or mascara on my lashes.  I was also, particularly in my 20s, caught in a cycle of deeply caring about what people thought about me and, of course, the way I look is a natural extension of that.

Since the end of that relationship, I have not spent a dime on mascara.  And I use so little makeup that it’s not even a budgeted item in my finances.  Well, except for skin care items like night cream.  That shiz is expensive.  And necessary.  I’m not knocking makeup, it is amazing and I still love it and love wearing it.  But I don’t need it to feel pretty.  G tells me every day how beautiful she thinks I am, and she makes sure I especially know that on days that I haven’t even tried.  So, this year, like the last few years that we have been together, I have felt beautiful every single day.  Maybe I’m not beautiful to strangers or gym members or coworkers, but I am beautiful to her and that’s all that I need to feel confident and worthy, and I could really care less about what everyone else thinks.

Getting physically gorgeous is not for the faint of heart.  It is quite a process.  And I highly recommend a professional.  Brooke Williams did my hair and makeup and she was just fabulous.  I was indeed gorgeous on my wedding day, no doubt.  But I felt gorgeous from the moment I woke up and cherished some sweet moments of pillow talk with my soon-to-be wife all the way through sweaty dancing with my hair up in a pony.

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2 thoughts on “#reverb14 // Gorgeous

    Barry said:
    December 2, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    kayshade, I understand the insecure thing, but you (and G) are the most beautiful after an hour of spinning. No makeup necessary…sorry I had to respond to this post……

      kayshay14 responded:
      December 3, 2014 at 11:57 am

      Barry you are the sweetest 🙂

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