#reverb14 // Let It Go

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You guys… if I never heard that stupid song Let It Go! again, I would not be torn up over it.  I could definitely let that go for 2015.  The movie was super cute.  Watching your kids sing along with it on videos was even cuter.  But, it made me kind of glad that I didn’t have any small people living with me who obsessed over it.

But seriously.

Every year that I am alive I discover new things about myself.  Sometimes I notice on my own, sometimes people point things out and tease in a way but are kinda serious, and sometimes I get smacked in the face with it.

One thing that I have always known is that I am an introvert.  Classic introvert.  That doesn’t mean that I’m shy.  I’m actually quite outgoing and friendly.  I don’t have any social phobias or anxiety.  But, interacting with people drains me- it takes my energy away.  And I need lots and lots of time by myself to recuperate.

So, back in 2004 (10 years ago…eek!) when social media became A Thing, I was in heaven.  I found a way to interact with people without actually having to interact.  I could see into the lives of my friends and family without it draining my energy or stealing from my precious alone time.  Because, I could be interacting while I was alone.  Crazy.

In addition, back in 2006 when I got my first smart phone, and social media became readily available at any moment of the day, thus starts the slippery slope all introverts everywhere are aware of.  Avoidance behavior and iPhone obsession.

Not to mention, I use my iPhone for pretty much every. damn. thing.  It is my alarm clock and wakes me up every morning.  It’s my snooze button that allows for just 9 minutes more of sleep!  It’s my choreography notes holder which I glace at while listening to music for that morning’s class while I brush my teeth.  It’s my iPod for class so that we can have an awesome workout for an hour together.  It’s my holder for contact info so that I have everyone’s email, phone, address organized and readily available at any time.  It’s my social and work calendar that reminds me every time I need to be somewhere… in 15 minutes!  It’s my communication device where I do probably about 90% of my emailing instead of on a computer.  It’s my communication device for texting and airdropping pictures.  It’s my communication device for making an occasional phone call (gasp!) — I am a horrible phone talker y’all.  Every moment of social awkwardness that I might be able to muster as an introvert is reserved for the moment that I am trying to talk to someone without seeing their face.  FaceTime does not help.  Try to call me sometime, it’s hilarious.

Anyways, you get the point.  It is my lifeline.  And I use it so much every day for practical purposes, like what conference room I’m supposed to be in at 1pm or how to get to the doctor’s office in BFE that it just reminded me I need to leave for, that it’s just there when I am also having a moment of boredom.  And the second I get bored I want to fill that time with something interesting.  Like you guys.  What pictures you uploaded, what is happening in your day, what news articles you found interesting thanks for keeping me up to date on events and sports stats btw, what cute baby animals are available to lift my spirits!!

Ugh.  But instead of this being something that occurs while I’m legit bored waiting for the doctor to call me back for my appointment, it has turned into a habit.  I don’t want to listen to what my coworkers are saying in teleconferences I dial into at work, I’d rather browse online.  I don’t want to go to sleep, there is news feed that I haven’t seen yet today, I don’t want to have real live human interactions and relationships – introverted avoidance enabling is just Too Easy!

I want to let it go.  It doesn’t mean that I have to now interact in person all day every day whew.  It just means that I will have more time to do things alone that I love like read.  Write.  Craft.  Watch some TV even.  It’s not an electronics hiatus.  It’s a conscious effort to dial back on this one piece while still allowing for the practical application of iPhone and iPad and iWhatever in my life.  My FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc apps are all going to a very inconvenient-to-access place on my phone.  And I’m going to attempt to do the 1-2 times daily catch up without all the mini-catch up in between.  Call me if you need anything!  j/k

i love you more than my iphone


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