I’m not sure if the most courageous leaps of faith are the ones that you take on your own, or ones that you rely on another person to take with you.
On one hand, a leap of faith that you take alone, you have control over when, where, and how. You control your reaction to the outcome. You steer the ship. But… you’re the only one driving.
On the other hand, a leap of faith that you take with someone else requires your faith in The Action and it requires your faith in Them. You share control. You don’t have to drive alone, but you can’t just take any path that you decide is best.
I took the ultimate leap of faith this year with G. My leap wasn’t like diving off a cliff with just a plastic bag to parachute with. I feel so confident in our choice to be together that it didn’t really feel like a leap at all. But that is what marriage is really. A leap of faith. And it’s a leap of faith specifically because you are taking it together.
I tried it once before. It didn’t work. It didn’t fail. It just didn’t work. And I’m ok with that. I could make a lot of excuses like saying we got together too young. We didn’t know ourselves fully yet. We grew apart. Maybe all that stuff is true. But it doesn’t matter. Marriage is a choice. I chose to follow a different path. He chose to allow me to do that and to follow his own path. We are both happier for it.
I thought I might not want to try again at first. What’s wrong with two people just loving each other and sharing a life? Is marriage really that big of a deal? Well, obviously it is to all of those who oppose same sex marriage… or they wouldn’t make such a damn fuss. Turns out, it does mean something.
It means you are becoming a family with this person. You are accepting responsibility for their well being. You are choosing them to take care of your well being. You accept each other for exactly who you are, and who you have yet to become. The leap of faith is trusting that you will both do the hard work of making now into always.