Day 26 – What gave you energy this year? What took away your energy?
I run hot and cold with my energy. I have a ton of it and then suddenly it will vanish. It’s taken me a long time to figure out exactly what happens to me. Why do certain situations and people exhaust me?
In a previous post, I wrote about how introversion is part of the key to me understanding how my energy gets used and renewed. My physical and mental energy are very tightly bound. I don’t know if this is the case with everyone. However I feel in my head is how I feel in my body. But, however I feel in my body exclusively, cannot alter the way I feel in my head. I am a living breathing mind-over-matter experiment.
This is good, because my willpower is super duper strong. Just one more squat? Noooo problem. This is bad because after having a peaceful 8 hour night of sleep, I could potentially be knocked on my ass by 6pm on any particularly emotional day and then have to go socialize at dinner because of preexisting plans which makes me feel like crying. I have actually. Cried because of this.
Am I alone in this or what??? No one ever talks about having this issue…
I successfully operate under a small set of rules. These are the things that I know.
*I limit drama in my life. No thank you. I don’t have dramatic friends (close ones anyways). I don’t watch reality TV shows.
*I say no when I need to. Social engagements, personal appointments, basic daily chores. Nothing is worth more than alone time that I know I need.
*I prioritize actions and people in my life. They get done first, while I’m fresh. Everything else gets done if I’m still up for saying yes.
*I speak up and say what I need. G is great at listening to me and understanding where I am in my headspace by listening to what I say.
*I don’t fight it. I have to feel OK being this way and accept it. Trying to be something else depletes me. Trying to be more because I want to backfires every time. I give everything I can when I can.
I’m still learning how to handle myself. It’s hard to figure these things out. But I’m a way better person, friend, and partner because I follow my own rule book.