Since January is traditionally a time for goal setting, and I’m a super non-traditional gal, this post about what I am absolutely not going to care about this year is right up my alley.
I won’t drag it out in suspense… I plan to not care about a lot this year. So much so that the traditional exercise of deciding what to care about the most would actually be a more practical one for me.
Rather, I will share with you one of my favorite self-evolution theories of all time.
You’re born with a ton of f*cks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card.
You give f*cks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions.
You give way too many f*cks about way too many things.
You have so many.
Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 f*cks per month, so you learn to budget them.
You allocate f*cks to family and career, but there aren’t enough f*cks to give to the newest fads.
Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title?
I’ll do my best to allocate some f*cks, but this month is pretty tight.
Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 f*cks per month, and those f*cks are pretty damn precious.
You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it.
<—- This is where I reside currently —>
It’s not your fault – f*cks expire too quickly.
I would’ve liked to save my f*cks from when I was younger but I can’t.
Then, you hit f*ck insolvency.
You’re getting like 1 f*ck a year, and you have to make it last.
So you go without, and even previously f*ck-worthy things, you just can’t give a f*ck.
Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a f*ck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age.
But at some point, the f*ck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of f*cks to give. It’s just basic F*ckonomics.
I think this all is just common sense. It explains why teenagers and young adults are so tortured and plagued by life, why everything is So Dramatic. It also explains why some old people seem to be crotchety and mean. If you consider the above theory, they are just a victim of real life and you should just cut them a break. Living that long is hard work. Where I exist, somewhere in the 1-2 f*ucks per month range, is really perfect. It allows me to put my energy toward things that make sense and just say no to everything else. I’ll be happy to prolong this period for as long as f*uckonomics will allow.
I created this helpful graph to illustrate.