Rule #2: Zero tolerance for negativity.
“…those who mind don’t matter…” – Dr. Seuss. He was a complete genius, no? I might be able to link every rule in my book to something smart Dr. Seuss said.
I am a bonafide energy-challenged person. I have a limited pool to draw from each day. And for me to live happily and productively, I have to be laser focused on the good stuff. The beneficial stuff. The practical value-added stuff. This means saying no, a Hard No, to negativity whether it be incoming from others, or outgoing from myself.
Loud, in-your-face negativity is easy to recognize and put a stop to. Bullies, gossips, complainers, and just plain meanies… these are people I seek to exclude from my life. And when that isn’t possible, I limit my exposure and keep them at arm’s length. My parents are negative people. They are unaccepting, unloving, and painfully exclusionary. They made me feel bad about myself for being myself. Unacceptable. It wasn’t easy, but I walked away.
Negativity can also be sneaky because it doesn’t always come at you. It can be all in your head. Negative self-talk is an unhealthy pattern to fall into. Negativity towards your self is all about the I’m not good enough. I can’t. Why me. It starts with comparisons to other people (this is a whole Don’t Rule all in itself- to be discussed later). It can develop as an extension of negative comments that you’ve heard from others and internalized. It continues with having a victim mindset- everyone is out to get you. This is a lot harder to deal with, since stepping away from a negative person is a physical action that you cannot take with your inner voice.
You cannot talk defeat and expect to have victory. You cannot talk lack and expect to have abundance. You have to send your words out in the direction you want your life to go. –unknown author
Silencing that negative inner voice is a practice. It’s the unapologetic part of being unapologetically you. That doesn’t mean never being sorry about anything- absolutely take responsibility for your actions and their consequences. It means not being sorry for things you can’t control, and for things you do not have responsibility for. It means accepting complements with grace. Thanking others for thinking highly of you and telling you instead of discrediting them. Looking at yourself in the mirror every day and saying why not me? And accepting and loving yourself for who you are. Remember Rule #1?
1. Be Yourself
2. Zero Tolerance for Negativity